Saint Aldric of the Elevator That Stops on Every Floor

Solemn canonization of the patron saint of all who have boarded the elevator, pressed their floor, and watched in quiet suffering as the doors close and open again on every level between them and their destination.

Each weekday at end-of-workday, a modern hagiographer canonizes one daily small American suffering — Saint of the Hold Music, Saint of the One AirPod, Saint of the Printer That Needs Cyan to Print Black.